Self-Gratification (Loving the Skin You're In!)

"For bodily exercise profiteth little..." 1 Timothy 4:8a [NKJV]

Oprah Winfrey, Kelly Price, Kirstie Alley, Star Jones, Mary-Kate Olsen, Nicole Richie, and Karen Carpenter---each of these ladies share a common denominator-weight issues. Most of us could add our names to the list, whether we feel that we are too fat or too thin; it is still a grave issue. In my opinion, this is one of the greatest contributors to low self-esteem. Many of us spend too much time trying to change our looks. Very few of us embrace and love the skin we are in!

At the start of a new year, countless women and men flood to the local gymnasiums to fulfill that annual "New Year's Resolution"--to shed those unwanted pounds. Women of all shapes and sizes stand in long lines for their opportunity to walk briskly on treadmills, bounce on oversized balls, exercise to upbeat music in aerobics classes, and firm their physique in the weight training zone. We usually continue this routine for a few weeks or so, and then we are back to business as usual, until the next New Year's Resolution. Wasted time and wasted money and why? The answer is simple-conformity to society's standard. According to the National Health Statistics, the average height for a woman is 5'5", and the average weight is from 117 to 130 pounds. I believe these standards are based on a specific race and are not universal. The body composition for a Caucasian woman with no hips is quite different from an African American woman with much hip. Therefore, who is to say what is "standard"?

At one point in my writings, I questioned the significance of this chapter on weight and self-gratification; however, two television shows that I viewed this week, changed my opinion. The first was an episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show, which dealt with how other countries defined beauty. "Thin is definitely in" in Brazil! The ladies there spend a vast amount of money on plastic surgery and Botox. According to a guest on the show, Iranian women have an obsession with their noses and spend a considerable amount of money on plastic surgery, also. The most diverse definition of beauty was found in a country in West Africa called, Mauritania. In Mauritania, "plump is sexy". In fact they practice gavage, better known as "forced feeding", to make the young ladies fatter and more desirable. They stuff these young ladies with couscous and milk until their stomachs are so full that they vomit. After the vomiting, the women start the "force feeding" again. Thin women are classified as "sick" in Mauritania and are not suitable for marriage. In Mauritania, thin women are probably the ones with low self-esteem. My point being, beauty is defined differently depending on the region in which you live. I guess we can reiterate that, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!"

Focusing on weight can truly affect one's confidence level. The second show that I viewed this week was a reality show found on the CW network entitled, Stylista. Stylista follows the competition of a group of fashion lovers seeking the opportunity to work for the fashion magazine, Elle. The contestants are divided into teams. Each week the teams are given a challenge to impress the fashion news director of Elle, Anne Slowey. The least favorable team stands in jeopardy of one member of the team being eliminated. On the first show the contestants were introduced. One of the contestants was a full-figured brunette named Danielle; who had a great flair for fashion; and seemed to be very self-confident. Due to other commitments, I missed about three or so episodes and decided to tune in last night. The editorial task was to select clothing from Elle's closet in preparation for a party where the contestants would host a "meet and greet". This posed a problem for Danielle because there was no plus size clothing in the closet. The once seemingly-confident Danielle, who stood tall in the first episode, now cowered on the floor crying, four episodes later, because there were no clothes to fit her. On top of that, she asked two of the smaller contestants what they thought about her size. Bad idea! One of the women said that high fashioned clothes looked better on "tall, thin women", and that she thought that they (thin women) were more attractive. Poor Danielle! The insecurity concerning her weight, which she tried so hard to mask, became transparent. She also fell for the oldest trick in the book; she asked her competitor/dragon to validate her fear. The object of the show was to eliminate the competition so that the last person standing would receive the position as editorial assistant for Elle magazine. This woman did what any rival would do-she went for the Achilles' heel of her opponent. Since Danielle verbalized her insecurity about her weight by asking this self-destructing question, she opened up "Pandora's box", succumbed to the attack, and was sent home.

This is a cruel, cruel world when it comes to prejudices on weight. In the United States, we are "brainwashed" to believe that "thin is better". Very thin supermodels parade the runways projecting the image of the acceptable size. Even the label "plus size" indicates some type of abnormality. Plus what? The same "so-called abnormality" is seen as the standard of beauty in Mauritania! Wow, what a mix up! That is why I say, "Love the skin that you're in!" Let me interject; however, if the skin you're in is causing you some health issues, then perhaps you have over- or under- managed your weight. Obesity can cause serious health risks! According to WIN (Weight-control Information Network), "Many serious medical conditions have been linked to obesity, including type 2 diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and stroke. Obesity is also linked to higher rates of certain types of cancer." In contrast, anorexia nervosa is just as risky and could be deadly! "Anorexia nervosa is a complex psychological illness that can have devastating physical consequences. Twenty percent of anorexics die of their illness, many from heart attacks and starvation."

Ladies, I understand the overbearing need of conformity to weight standards. I was married to a man who told me that if I gained weight; he would divorce me--and he was serious. I ate so many grapefruits to maintain my "size 10" dress size that I experienced acid reflux. Sisters, it is manipulation and control when someone threatens you to maintain your weight; you have to be in control of your own body. The Apostle Paul instructs us to be content in whatever state we are in:

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." [Philippians 4: 11-13 NIV]

Ladies, learn to love the body that God gave you! Whether tall, short, fat or thin; love the skin you're in! Remember that you are "fearfully" and "wonderfully" made (Psalm 139:14). You are beautiful inside and out! Do not let the media, magazines, and music moguls box you into a standard of beauty. Beauty comes in all shapes, colors, and sizes! See yourself beautiful! Face the journey...!